DPCHURCH
Celebrate. Connect. Contribute.Archive for April, 2010
Wondering Why: Reflecting On Suicide
I found myself once again standing beside a family faced with life not turning out the way they expected it would. This is one of the great privileges of ministry. Walking alongside of people as they face darkness.
This week the former boyfriend of one of our college students (he broke up with her two months ago) took his life in his dorm. He was laid to rest yesterday. His funeral and the previous night’s visitation were attended by hundreds of teens and young adults all asking the same question – why? Why did this happen to such an amiable, intelligent, athletic, and Christ-like 19 year old? Why didn’t we see the signs? Why didn’t he reach out to me, or you, or someone else? Why?
It’s a natural question. But often, I have found, what we are really asking is, “Why did they do this to me?” Ultimately, what we need to realize is that he did what he did to end his pain, not to cause you pain. It was his choice. You did not cause this.
At a time of crisis, an explanation may be helpful, but it is not enough. We need someone to set the brokenness of our hearts so it can begin to heal, much like a doctor sets a broken bone. I believe, with all my heart, that only Jesus can do that. Our search for explanations is really a search for comfort. Jesus and the community of Christ, the church, are where you will find that comfort.
With a suicide, explanations are nearly impossible to obtain. So, what’s next for us who are left behind? I liken our next steps to the next steps that Joshua and the Children of Israel faced when crossing the Jordan River to enter the promised land. God told them to place a foot in the water and then the waters would heap up and they could cross over (Joshua 3:12-13).
They had to take a risk. They had to take a step of faith and trust that what God promised would come true. When they put a foot into the water God did what he said he’d do. In order for the Israelites to enjoy the blessings God desires to give them, they have to get across the Jordan. So do you. God promised the Israelites that he would make a way for them, that his power would be sufficient. And it was. And it will be for you, as well.
So, as you stand at your Jordan and face the floodwaters, know that God will deliver you. But if you want to see his power, you have to take a risk and trust him. Don’t miss out on the life God wants for you. Take the step and place your faith and trust in him. The illusion that cripples so many is that we can control life. Surrendering to God is truly the only way for you to have control of anything. Take the step of faith. God can’t wait to give you life!
Lead Yourself
I have been doing some reflecting with some friends about leading and following. One of the concepts that emerged was the need for more self leadership. We need to take more responsibility to lead ourselves. The amount of rest, learning, discipline, activity, and engagement we need are ultimately up to us. Really, who else knows what we need spiritually, physically, or emotionally better than we do?
We concluded that we live lives led by schedules, commitments, and other’s agendas more often than not. We have decided together to lead ourselves from this point on. We’re planning to meet again and discuss a couple of things to help with this. 1) Create a list of things we believe to priorities – God, marriage, family, health, etc. 2) Cut commitments from our schedules that, in and of themselves, may or may not be bad, but may not be necessary and that could be hindering us from addressing our priorities. 3) Take a day off each week. This includes ignoring the phone and email. 4) Be ok with disappointing other people. In other words, we will not allow commitments nor other’s agendas to dictate our lives.
So, for me it means a few things. 1) More time in prayer and meditation. 2) More time focused on my wife, not just being home when she is. 3) More time at Gold’s Gym. 4) Go at least one day each week without opening my laptop, texting tweets, or even watching TV.
I have learned that people are what matter most in life, but that often I have nothing to offer them because I am always trying to offer them something. So, I am committed to leading myself, and in turn, I will be better able to serve God and others.
Try this. Take an inventory of your life and examine what you need cut out and what you need to include. How well are you leading yourself?
